Guess what?

IMG_3628

I asked our friend Nick to write us a movie review with the directive that he should choose either a movie that he thought I would find too euro/artsy/esoteric to sit through comfortably and/or to lend a critics eye to movies I do find myself watching and needing to justify (The Guilt Trip with Barbara Striesand came to mind.)

And of course, in true Nick fashion, he turned in this review of Walking and Talking effortlessly shirking both requests. Or did he combine them? I really have no fucking clue. I’ve learned over the years that the mystery that is Nick’s brain often spits out works of genius. So this is either that, a cruel joke, or, most likely, something in between.

At any rate this should help my blog find some new pervert followers because for some reason he uses the phrase “Catherine Keener’s pussy cat” SO MANY TIMES. Hello perverts! Welcome to Town Hollow! You’re one of us now. C

IMG_3624

By Nick | Movie Critic for Town Hollow

This movie is surely the harbinger of Mom Jeans.

Or at least Catherine Keener and and Anne Heche rock their Mom Jeans delightfully in this existentially painful/late to blossom/coming of age/emo flick.

We drop in on a youthful Keener and Heche who play best friends that have reunited after a short separation from the time they were roommates. Heche is now a professional counselor for people with problems (specifically a middle aged ethnic Italian guy who feels bad about himself) and Keener’s pussy cat has become sick with kitty cancer. Also, Keener feels betrayed when Heche tells her that she is engaged to be married to some boring guy that she has settled upon.

Their BFF status has been threatened by this engagement and the pussy cat has fallen upon dire straits. Keener rents video tapes at the local movie store but keeps getting hit on by the crusty pajama-clad video clerk until she reluctantly accompanies him to the midnight movie house to watch a slasher pic, a date which she leaves in disgust.

Just when our hero has become completely depressing, a boyish Liev Schrieber pops into the scene and tries to rekindle the 6 year/sticky/co-dependant/we don’t-like-labels/booty call/we-use-each-other friendship he shared with Keener.

IMG_3633

And she’s all like “Oh geez, not a nice guy that is my best male friend that I would have a functional thing with, oh no!” (Editors note: I sincerely hope this was the actual dialogue, as I wish more people besides Nick said Oh Geez…)

They go to the park so he can show her his Grandma (Editors note: ?) who takes care of his Grandpa who has premature Alzheimers disease. And it’s his Grandpa’s birthday! Sparks are re-kindled.

Meanwhile, young up and comer Heche meets her fiancé for a business lunch where he presents her with a ring box containing his cutaneous mole that he had removed, which we learn was apparently a source of tension in their prenuptials.

Heche chides him for being “passive aggressive” and storms out (Don’t worry, I don’t think she calls it off or anything). Now Heche needs Keener who she has so cooly neglected to pursue her career and courtship but Keener needs Heche even more because Keener’s pussy cat has, just moments earlier, committed suicide by jumping to its death from an upper story apartment window.

IMG_3635

Heche has again been turned into Keener’s counselor. We are learning so much about these two!

Keener returns to the video store and has to confront the clerk who is happy to see her so he can let her know they have nothing in common and that going out with her made him get back with his old girlfriend. We then learn that Catherine was even more hesitant to go to the VHS rental checkout because she is renting a porno! Walking down the street she catches up with Liev who says he’s already seen that one. We find out he habitually watches pornographic VHS cassettes and this was the reason she cut it off with him back when.

You might think ‘Walking and Talking’ refers to vignettes where the characters have gripping moments together while walking and talking but you would be incorrect. ‘Walking and Talking’ refers to the level of functionality these late bloomers possess in their depressing morbid existences.

Also, the events described in this plot synopsis may not have happened in the exact order described here and the characters most definitely had names that I have failed to remember. N

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s